Prison Diaries #5

My Afternoon: Well, the first part of today really sucked cause I got screwed out of my shower. So I had to take a bird bath in my cell out of the sink., which was really cold. We don't have Heating or air conditioning. I did get a book in the mail today,(How to start your own business). so now I have something to read to keep my mind from wondering off on me. Tip: Never bite the hand that feeds you! Quote: War is cruelty, and you can not refine it. We are not only fighting hostile armies, but a hostile people,and must make old and young, rich and poor, feel the hard hand of war. Author unknown A Gentle Thought: If you think there is good in everybody, You haven't met everybody. Did you know: Nevada was the first state to use lethal gas as a mean of execution. In 1921, This method was approved to execute Gee Jong, a Chinese immigrant convicted of a gang related murder. Initially, officials planned to pump hydrogen cyanide gas in his cell while he was asleep. As there was no way to contain the gas, they constructed an airtight gas chamber; He was executed in the chamber on Feb.8,1924. Live brief conversation: Conversation started at 7:09 pm. Jr.Wood: Say Panama. Panama: What do you want super sissy. Jr.Wood: I see you want to play. Panama: I figured I would go ahead and get you before you get me. Jr.Wood: Right on. Panama: So what was you going to say? Jr.Wood: I was just going to ask you a question. Panama: Well what is it SUPER SISSY? Jr.Wood: If you would shut your east Texas catfish mouth having @ss up, I would tell you. Jr.Wood: Not that this has ever happened to me or anything, But have you ever set down started taking a sh*t, and then realized after you were done your toilet paper was sitting way at the back on top of your locker at the front of your cell? Panama: No, but my question to you is, How would you get it if it did happen to you? Jr.Wood: It didn't happen to me. Panama: I was just asking what would you do If you did that. Jr.Wood: I am not saying, cause it never happened to me therefore I don't care. Panama: Just admit it. It happened to you SUPER SISSY!

Prison Diaries #4

My Evening: Today has been pretty good. I got a letter from my pen-pal, so that will give me something else to do later on tonight. I lost my spider earlier today for about 2 hours, but finaly found her in my fan. Shes a black widow and her name is she. Tip of the Day: Never trust a one-eyed dude with a pistol. Quote: Every man of sence must be convinced that our disturbances have arisen more from the want of goverment power than the abuse of it.. Auther Unknown. A Gentle Thought: A penny saved is a goverment oversight. Joke: Do you know how to make a kleenex dance? Blow a little boogie in it. Yeah, I know that sucked! Live Conversations: Conversation started at 6:00 p.m. Panama: Rob, did you get any mail today? Robb: No, did you? Panama: Yeah, I got a letter from my daughter. Jr.Wood: I don't mean to interupt Ya'lls conversation, but what are the symptoms of the bird flu? Panama: Why? Jr.Wood: Ever since I ate that chicken at lunch, I have been a cluckin like a fu*king chicken. Frank: Get off the bullsh*t Jr.Wood! Jr.Wood: I'm not playing, I'll try to say something, than all of a sudden I start cluckin.

Prison Diaries #3

MY MORNING: I woke up made my bed, brushed my teeth and turned on Texas 99.1 to jam while I sweep and wash my floor. Then chased down a cricket,ripped his legs off ans threw him in my black widow's web that I have at the back corner of my cell. Yeah, I know that was cruel, but my spider has to eat too. Oh my spiders name is she. I've had her since she was a itty bitty spider. TIP OF THE DAY: If you come to Texas or if you already live here, and you see a sign that says "don't mess with texas". Do as it says and don't mess with texas. I am speaking from experience here. QUOTE OF THE DAY: If we forget what we did, We won't know who we are. By Ronald Reagan, 1989 JOKE OF THE DAY: Do you know what the german word for constipation is? Answer: Farfrompoopin.. DID YOU KNOW: In 2004, Amnesty International reported that Singapore, a nation of about 4 million, Puts more to death than any other country in the world. Between 1994 and 1999, the country executed 14 people per 1 million residents. Heres another quick tip for you. Don't mess with singapore either. LIVE CONVERSATIONS: Conversation started at 12:15 p.m. GATOR: Say Panama, Panama, PANAMA!! PANAMA: What man, What! GATOR:Da*m, Did your hearing go out or what? PANAMA:I was listening to my radio, what the h*ll do you want? GATOR: What are we having for lunch do you know? JR.WOOD: We are having food, what else do you think we are having? GATOR: I didn't ask you smart a$$ ROBB: Yeah, Well he told you. JR.WOOD: You couldn't wait to jump into the conversation could you? Nosey a$$ ROBB: You jumped in to. JR.WOOD: "YOU JUMPED IN TOO" What kind of sh*t is that? You sound just like a sissy GATOR: Well what are we having for lunch? JR.WOOD: we are having gator. Muhahahaha!!!! PANAMA:Why do you always have to make things so difficult? All the man wants to know is whats for lunch. JR.WOOD: So why haven't you told him yet? PANAMA: Cause I don't know. ROBB: LOL JR.WOOD:LOL UNKNOWN:LOL JR.WOOD: man you are as dumb as you are old. ROBB: Gator, Do you really want to know whats for lunch? GATOR: Yes thats why I asked ROBB: well I don't know either GATOR:Ya'll play to fu*ing Much JR.WOOD:You ain't mad GATOR: I give up! UNKNOWN: We are having chicken patties. JR.WOOD: Mind your own business, you east texas bullfrog lookin a$$ dude! PANAMA: Why don't all Ya'll shut up. Chow is here!